Sunday, March 27, 2011

what the fuck

Yes, really, what the fuck?

I just arrived from my sister's graduation. Saw bunch of my high school classmates at school today. It was a bit nostalgic; it was my first time setting foot at my Alma Mater ever since our high school graduation.

It was not fun at all. I mean, I confirmed something nasty. :(

See, a few months ago, a friend of mine sent me a message (on Facebook) saying rumors are circulating about me being emo, smoking, drinking, and going to bars.

I didn't believe it at first. I mean, I thought that our classmate who told her about that was just joking her. Plus, I don't really believe something unless I see it with both my two eyes, or hear it directly.

I felt bad after receiving that message (because it's not really true). Since then, I stopped posting statuses (and connecting my tweets) in Facebook (for fear of being judged?). I started a private blog, and frequented on Tumblr and Twitter more. I suddenly had this phobia? or anger? (I don't know) with Facebook. You know the feeling of anger and discomfort everytime you log-in on Facebook? That's what I felt everytime. And it sucks. And the thought of who reached those rumors hunted me sometimes. :(

Anyways, my classmates I met today confirmed that yes, this rumor is really circulating (particularly in UST). I didn't really wanna talk about it, so I told them that it's not true, and I didn't care whatever they say because in the end, it's not really true.

So yeah, the truth, here it is: I am sometimes emo (and I don't deny it). I like wearing black (but not always), and when my high school batchmates meet me at the university, they always see me in it (and so I was branded like that for life. Great.). But I don't smoke--I don't really; I haven't tried it ever, and I don't want to. To tell you the truth, whenever my dad is at home and when he's smoking, I always ask him to stop because I can't breathe with the fumes. The same goes when we have visitors in the house who smokes. I always imply to them that I can't breathe well (yeah, I know I'm rude). I also don't drink beer, or wine, or ANY alcohol beverage (for heaven's sake) ever since birth. And I don't go to bars (I haven't really been to one, either). Let's just say that my idea of FUN FUN FUN is spending the night with my laptop named Anchovy (yes, my laptop's got a name, and it's taken from one of the nicknames of Hyukjae, my ultimate K-Pop bias), watching Asian dramas and anime, or reading mangas or e-books.

Eff. Really.

P.S. I know that it started as a joke between them, but for heaven's sake I don't think they'll never understand how the fuck it affected me (especially at this crucial time of my life). :(