Do you believe in aliens or life on other planets?

I always believe that anything can be a possibility until it's disproven, so yes. :)

Ask me anything

would you rather drown or be buried alive?

Drown, because my element is water. :] Also, I don't want to die a horrible death with the worms on the ground.

Ask me anything

30-Day Challenge

I'm starting the 30-day challenge I got from tumblr last Monday. I know it's weird, but I'm only doing it here on blogger, not on tumblr, because it's kinda public there, and I don't want my followers who don't know me to read about these very personal posts. And I think the essence of this challenge is kinda lost if I'll post it on tumblr, since that website is more like an instant blogging site. (Don't misunderstand me, but I love tumblr.) :)

Ok, so let's start!

• Five weird things you do when you're home alone. I know they're not really weird, but I can't think of anything I do that is in the definition of weirdness right now, so here goes:
  

1. I spend soooooooooo much time on tumblr. Normal people spend soooooooooo much time of facebook, and here I am on summer spending half of the 24-hour day sitting like a boss, tumbling the day away. I think one unusual fact about me is that I hate facebook, especially the attention-seeking people in it. I sometimes want to change my name to No One and like some git's stupid status, but I think I will be judged by people if I did that. In tumblr, I'm free to post what I want, and I also have more followers in it than friends I have on facebook (and followers from twitter). Tumblr also is like my creativity space on this crazy world, aside from my diary. :)
   
2. I eat and eat until I'm full. I've always been so thin in my entire existence here on earth, so I don't mind munching more food because I'm never getting fat. Pringles is my favorite junk food, btw. I also like fruits (oranges, apples, etc.). And I like noodles. :D
   
3. I watch movies or dramas or any shows. I think this is not really weird, but this is really what I do, especially when I am in the dorm alone (as always). When I am not watching a drama, it's either I'm watching a movie, or an anime, while eating something. :)
4. I read books. Ok, it's not really weird, but I can't think of anything I do alone except these things I am writing. I read books I buy mostly on Book Sale, but sometimes I also read from e-books I've been downloading on the internet (I'm a pirate, lol). But I prefer reading on books because my eyes get strained when I read on my laptop all day.
5. I talk to myself and dance and sing real loud. I talk to myself when I am alone, usually when I remember something stupid I did. It is usually accompanied by a slap in the face, or anywhere, as long as I (mildly) hurt myself. I also like blurting out Korean expressions when I'm alone, like 진짜 (chincha: really?) and 오모 (omo: oh God.), especially when something (interesting) happens in what I am watching or reading. I also like dancing and singing K-Pop songs real loud. :D

So, that's it. My first day in the 30-day challenge. :)

Life List:

From the previous semester, I’ve already got the gist of the French, Spanish and Chinese languages. :) I reckon I’ll further study Chinese because I liked the language and the writings. :) Originally, I really want to learn Japanese, but because of some reasons this sem, I took Chinese classes instead. I’m still torn between French and Spanish, though; I don’t know which I will take next sem. I like French more, but Spanish is easier.

As of now, my mind says that it wants me to take Chinese and French electives next semester. :)

50 Life Secrets and Tips

1. Memorize something everyday. Not only will this leave your brain sharp and your memory functioning, you will also have a huge library of quotes to bust out at any moment. Poetry, sayings and philosophies are your best options.
2. Constantly try to reduce your attachment to possessions. Those who are heavy set with material desires will have a lot of trouble when their things are taken away from them or lost. Possessions do end up owning you, not the other way around. Become a person of minimal needs and you will be much more content.
3. Develop an endless curiosity about this world. Become an explorer and view the world as your jungle. Stop and observe all of the little things as completely unique events. Try new things. Get out of your comfort zone and try to experience as many different environments and sensations as possible. This world has so much to offer, so why not take advantage of it?
4. Remember people’s names so that they feel appreciated and for your own future benefit when you want something from that person. To do this, say their name back to them when they introduce themselves. Then repeat the name in your head a number of times until you are sure you have it. Continue to use their name in conversation as much as possible to remove any chance of forgetting it. If you’re still having trouble, make up a rhyme about their name: “Dan the Man” or “Natalie flatters me.”
5. Get fit! It’s ridiculous to think that we have one body, one sole means of functioning, and people are too lazy to take care of themselves. Fit bodies lead to better health, confidence and more success with romantic endeavors. I’d say those are 3 very good reasons to get in shape.
6. Learn to focus only on the present. The past is unchangeable so it is futile to reflect on it unless you are making sure you do not repeat past mistakes. The future is but a result of your actions today. So learn from the past to do better in the present so that you can succeed in the future.
7. Even more specifically, live in THIS moment. Even 10 minutes ago is the past. If you live purely in this moment you will always be happy because there is nothing wrong in this split-second.
8. Smile more often. Whenever you get a grin on your face, your brain is releasing serotonin, the happy hormone. Smiling is the natural way to force yourself to be happy. Many people even smile for five minutes straight in the morning to get themselves in a great mood for the day. It is a very powerful tool that is utilized less and less as we grow older and need happiness more than ever. Just remember that while happiness leads to smiles, smiles also lead to happiness.
9. Drink water. Hydration is tremendously important for overall health. Soda has absolutely ZERO nutritional content; it’s like pouring a punch of sugar and syrup into your cup. Instead, fill it with life-replenishing water. It may taste plain at first if you’re coming off of a heavy soda-drinking streak, but you’ll soon find yourself addicted to it. 10 glasses per day is optimal, how many have you been getting lately?
10. Don’t take life so seriously! Learn to laugh at the little things and this whole “existence” thing will be a whole lot easier. Be amused by your mistakes and failures and be thankful that you learned your lesson and won’t mess up like that again. And most importantly do things that you enjoy! Life is not strictly business, it can be mixed with pleasure.
11. Think positive thoughts. When you find yourself thinking a negative thought, stop it immediately by any means necessary. Slap yourself in the face, yell something positive at the top of your lungs or jump up and down. Do whatever it takes to get back to a positive mindset as such is essential for continual happiness and success.
12. Read books. No explanation needed.
13. Get in the sun. Superman was completely re-energized when he flew out to space and soaked in some rays and you can do the same right outside your front door (if you live in a constantly dreary place, my apologies). The sun feels amazing: your entire body will be coursing with warmth and life.
14. Help others. I’ll just give you a plethora of reasons why this is a MUST
    • Helping people has a ripple effect. If you help someone they will feel more obliged to help someone else, and so on. Pay it forward
    • You grow by giving and helping others. It can change you in ways you never expected
    • Your relationship with that person will become stronger
    • It’s the most fulfilling thing you can do on this planet. It not only feels amazing physically, you also feel like a good person
    • You might be able to call in a favor later when you need some help
    • Karma (if you believe in it)
    • Because there are more people in this world than just you
15. Set aside a specific time to worry each day. Ponder all of your problems and anxieties during that time so that they will not distract you during work or moments of pleasure. This way you can be extremely efficient with your time and avoid focusing on negative things as much as possible. If you get all of your worry out of the way and have the mental fortitude to keep from reverting back to them, you will be much happier on the daily.
16. Be honest at all times. Lies lead to nothing but trouble. Being known as trustworthy is an excellent trait to maintain and essential to having integrity.
17. Sleep less. Fully adjusting to a new sleep cycle can take up to 21 days so don’t give up if you feel tired after switching to 5-hour nights. The “required” 8 hour/night is for normal people. If you’re reading THIS article on THIS site, you are not normal. So figure out how much sleep YOU really need and adjust accordingly. As enjoyable as sleep is, waking existence is much more fulfilling and efficient. IF this really sparks your interest, check out alternate sleep cycles with which you can be fine off of 2 hours of sleep per day.
18. Read “Bringers of Light” and “Conversations with God” by Neale Donald Walsch. These books will help you decide what you want to do in this life and how to get to that point. They will also profoundly change the way you look at the purpose of existence. Read them!
19. Figure out what your goals and dreams are. So many people wander aimlessly through life simply go for whatever small thing they want moment by moment. Instead, decide what your perfect life consists of and begin to put the steps in motion to reach that place. The most satisfying thing in the world (yes, better than sex, much better) is overcoming a challenge and reaching a goal. We are the happiest when we are growing and working towards something better.
20. Start your day off right. Wake up and set aside an hour for personal development activities (meditation, self-introspection, observing nature, etc.) Do the things that make you feel blissful, optimistic and empowered so that you can set a positive tone for your day. I guarantee that once you start doing this, your days will be more enjoyable and fulfilling. Today is going to be the best day of your life. Duh.
21. Utilize ‘The Burning Method.’ Whenever a fear or worry or complaint comes to mind, close your eyes and imagine writing down the thought on a piece of paper. Then proceed to light the paper and fire and watch it disintegrate. Even better, actually write it down and burn it. You won’t have any problem ridding your mind of the thought after doing this.
22. Travel. Anyone who has ever gone anywhere will tell you that traveling is one of the most exciting and life-changing activities that you can do. Observing a different culture will expand your mind while making you further appreciate the life you already live. This goes back to becoming an explorer: this world is your jungle so go explore! Who knows, maybe you’ll find a place you love so much that you decide to move. Imagine the positive repercussions a new environment could have on your life.
23. The Rubber Band Method This is the third and final way to rid yourself of negative thoughts (hopefully by now you have figured out that this is very important!). Place a rubber band around your wrist and snap it against your skin anytime a negative thought finds its way into your head. This classical conditioning technique associates a slight pain with negative thoughts like Pavlov associated food/salivation with the sound of a bell. Sounds a bit cruel at first but it only stings for a second, I promise. Plus the outcome, having only positive thoughts, far outweighs a little slap on the wrist here and there.
24. Learn to be unaffected by the words of others. Most people get very upset when they are called negative names by others, but there is a simple trick to overcoming this. Here it is: If I went up to you and called you a fire hydrant, would you be upset? Of course not. Obviously you are not a fire hydrant, you are a human being. The same concept applies to when someone calls you something that you know you are not. They are foolish for saying such things, so why would you react with such anger? The only exception is when someone calls you something that is true! In this case, you should thank them for alerting you to a weakness, one that you can now work on changing.
25. Read “Zen and the Art of Happiness” by Chris Prentiss. This book will give you the knowledge and instruction to be happy at all times regardless of the circumstances. Yes, this sounds like an oversimplification of happiness, but I assure you that this book will change you in an amazing way.
26. Develop the ability to forgive. Forgiveness is something that most people fail miserably at even thought it’s so simple. Grudges only bring more misery to those who hold them and prevent good relations with the target. YOU makes mistakes all of the time so why not have mercy when other do? Remaining angry feels horrible while forgiving someone brings a refreshing sensation to the mind and healing to the relationship.
27. Be the person that makes others feel special. Be known for your kindness and sympathy.
28. Learn to lucid dream, or to realize when you are dreaming so that you can control your dreams. Sleep feels good, but its rather boring and unproductive. With lucid dreaming under your belt, night time can be even more exciting than when you are awake. You can do anything: fly, travel to other planets, party with a celebrity, get intimate with your dream boy/girl, etc. Many lucid dreams have also reported being able to speak directly with the subconscious during dreams by demanding to be taken to it after becoming lucid. For those that know a thing or two about your subconscious, that is a BIG deal.
29. Visualize daily. It has been said and proven time and time again that what you focus on is what you get. If you complain all of the time, you will run into more of the things you complain about. The same goes for good things like health, wealth and happiness. So spend some time in the morning imagining yourself achieving whatever it is that you currently desire. Focus is key in this exercise, so choose a quiet environment where you won’t be disturbed. If you’re having trouble focusing and continually find that your mind has wandered to something else, read about meditation in the following life tip. There is a lot more to this concept, so check out the full article on visualization and the law of attraction here.
30. Meditate everyday for at least 20 minutes. In this modern world where everyone is so connected to everything else via cell phones, TV and internet, most people rarely enjoy the beauty of silence. The ability to quiet your mind and relax your body is an art and skill that everyone should develop. Simply sit somewhere, preferably in nature, and focus on your breathing or try to think about nothing. This is going to be extremely hard at first! You might find it boring or just plain impossible to think of nothing, but you will get better and you will learn to love it. Post-meditation, you will feel extremely clear headed and.. well, just plain wonderful. The only way to really understand this sensation is to try it.
31. Learn to control your mind. What kind of skilled human are you if you cannot even control your own thoughts? While the human mind is described as being a stream of consciousness, that does not mean you can’t decide where your stream flows. Techniques like meditation and the 3 ways to flush out negative thoughts will aid you immensely in learning to control your mind.
32. Learn to control your emotions. The only person that can make you unhappy is you! You are the one that decides to be affected by the words and actions of others. Realize this so that the next time you experience a negative emotion, you can find the strength within yourself to overcome it.
33. Take a class in speed reading. Books are full of information that can enhance your knowledge-base, vocabulary and yourself as a person. Speed reading is an easy way to get at this info faster so that you can have more time for other endeavors.
34. Relax! This one is for you work-o-holics out there (myself included). Yes, work is very important and productive but you need to take some time to chill out everyday or you are going to burn out faster than a candle with no oxygen. Additionally, you need to reward yourself for a job well done. What’s the use of doing all of that work if you can’t have a little fun from time to time anyways?
35. Work on making good first impressions. Practice a strong, firm handshake and the small talk that generally goes along with meeting someone for the first time. People won’t know what to think of you if you have nothing more to say beyond “My name is _______, nice to meet you.” Also make sure you remember names, as mentioned previously. Who knows, you may be going into business with or marrying this person you’re meeting for the first time if you make a good impression. Be sure and make an excellent one.
36. Learn to use your eyes to their full potential:
    • Make constant eye contact when in conversation. Looking away (especially down) is a sign of inferiority and unsureness. Instead, look at your conversation partner dead in the eyes and keep them locked on
    • Master the piercing stare. You know when someone looks at you and it feels like they can see into your soul? Well that’s not a hereditary characteristic, it just takes practice. Work on sharpening your gaze in the mirror. You’ll know you have it when it’s intimidating to continue looking at yourself
    • Master the one-eyebrow raise. This one isn’t necessary by any means, but hey, why not? Pick a brow to learn with and go look in a mirror. Raise both of your eyebrows but use your hand to hold down the brow that you want to stay down. This will probably feel very stupid at first but if you keep trying, you will eventually pin down the muscle you need to flex to get that one brow up
37. Be mysterious. Don’t let off everything about you and definitely leave out some major details. There is something both alluring and mesmerizing about someone that no one knows fully about. I’m not saying to confide in no one or to alienate yourself. Just think James Bond.
38. Come up with a life mantra. You know, like “Carpe Diem” or “Live life to the fullest,” but not as cliché. Make it something that really hits home with you so that you will actually stick to it. Make sure it’ not so specific that it rarely applies but also not so general that it’s not personal.
39. Get good at something. Call it a hobby or a passion, whatever it is, just get damn good at it. Your occupation does not count! Make it something that you can practice often enough to excel at. Examples: Magic tricks, surfing, ping pong, creating short films, and unicycling. It can be anything but I would recommend choosing something that: 1) You are passionate about 2) You can bust out at any moment to display your skills for any discerning crowd. My mind goes immediately to aerobatics and break dancing, but that’s just me.
40. Work out those abs. Above any other muscle group in the entire body, the abs are the most important. They constitute your core, the center point of your body. Your ability to balance comes almost completely from the strength of your abdominal muscles and balance is vital to performance in any physical activity. Summary: they’re very important. For more info on how to work out your abs, check out this video.
41. Keep your brain sharp. The majority of people are stuck in ruts. They go to the same job everyday, hang out with the same friends and eat at the same places. While that may feel safe, it’s not the most stimulating lifestyle for your brain. Those synapses have been built up enough, so try something that you do NOT know how to do! Buy a model car kit, master the art of sudoku or crosswords, or go pick up another major at your nearest college. The point is you need to be learning new things to keep your brain honest. Form new synapses by forcing your mind to work in ways it has not worked before. Just like physical workouts, doing too much of the same exercise will eventually give no results. Switch it up!
42. Read something inspirational right before bed and after waking. This will set get you in a great mood for sleep and for the day. Read anything from a famous speech to your favorite self-improvement book. Try to read something that get’s you really excited in the morning especially so that you’ll leave your house beaming with energy and wonder.
43. Do what you love. There is a huge difference between making a life and making a living; which one are you making right now? So many spend their entire lives trying to make as much money as possible so that they can afford to do what they really want later. It makes no sense to settle in life until you’re 65 so that you can retire and do what you want when you’re already WAY past your prime. We only live life once so why wouldn’t you want to spend it pursuing your bliss? To do anything else would be a tragic waste of the freedom you are allowed if you are reading this right now. Follow your bliss and you will be a thousand times more happy than your retirement date and 40+ years younger.
44. Choose your friends wisely. You are affected far more than you think by the people you spend your time with. Do your friends share your values? Do they encourage you when you speak of your goals and dreams or do they scoff? Make sure the people around you are conducive to the lifestyle you want to lead or you will find yourself being dragged again and again into behavior that distances you from your desires. Friends with a habit of producing negative thoughts will especially hinder you. This can be a hard task to follow through with if you realize you good friend is one of these saboteurs, but you must be firm! Don’t let anyone get in the way of you being all that you can be.
45. Don’t burn bridges. By that I mean maintain your relationships with people even if you think you are never going to see them again. For example, if you are quitting your job, don’t chew out your boss before leaving! You might run into him/her again later and life and wish you had never severed ties so harshly. You never know when you might need the help of someone you knew in the past. Plus there is already too much hatred in this world, why add more towards the people you interact with?
46. Keep a journal/diary. It sounds like a very monotonous habit at first, but when you get into it, that little book will become a great way to organize your thoughts and track your growth over the years. Most of us already stay awake in bed at night pondering the events of the day anyways so why not document those thoughts in an organized fashion? That will allow you to look back and observe how your way of thinking has changed over time.
47. Read “New Pyscho-Cybernetics” by Dr. Maxwell Maltz. This book will explain why the content of your thoughts has such a profound effect on your life through religious, philosophical and scientific arguments. A must read for completely understand who this life thing works.
48. Learn to use and trust your subconscious/intuition. When you spend time in silence everyday, listen not for words but for a feeling that tells you to do something. Do not mistake your own reasoning and thoughts for those of your subconscious. If you can track where the thought came from, (this thought led to that thought which led to this thought, etc.) then it was not from your subconscious. Learning to accurately discern between the two will allow you to tap into knowledge that you don’t consciously have.
    
49. Develop a charismatic personality. You know, the kind of personality that is surrounded by people constantly and is the life of the party. Start visualizing yourself as THAT person. Maybe take a short course on dynamic speaking and learn some jokes. Take the time to learn some party tricks and sleight of hand. Most importantly, believe that you already are charismatic even if you fail at beign the center point of the next party. Lie to yourself constantly and tell yourself that you are more warm and gregarious than Ronald Regan. Belief is the first step! Reality will come soon after.
    
50. Love is all there is. If you truly want to be a master of life, let love be in your every action. Love your friends, family and enemies alike. This is the most difficult thing to do out of this entire list, which is why it is listed at #50. But if you accomplish this, you will be seen as a leader among everyone that allows hate, envy, disgust and all other negative emotions into their lives. Think Gandhi. Love is so rare in this world when compared to the massive presence of hate that by exuding love, you will immediately see yourself and the people around you change. Love. Love. Love.

Source: highexistence.com

30-Day Challenge

I got this originally from tumblr. Credits to thingsicantconfess. It sounds fun, so I'll try it. :)

Look what I unearthed:

It’s my battered copy of To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee. :)

The electricity in our town went off this morning, so I was forced to step out off my laptop and do other stuffs. Coincidentally, my eyes lingered at our bookshelfs, and I found myself arranging it and counting my book collection. :) I was running out of books to read, and life has been boring this summer; all I do is eat, tumblr, and sleep. So I was all smiles when I found this book. Will be re-reading it again to kill boredom. :)

I also made a heart bookmark I found in tumblr. Sugoi, deshou? :D

What A Girl Wants:

To be able to read Le Petit Prince

I want to read a French book. :) I want to read the French version of The Little Prince. Our French 10 prof said that we need to reach French 40 before we can read (and understand) it though. That’s still a long way to go. :|

(photo by Federica Mu)

Thank You!

Thank you God for helping me survive the previous semester. Thank you for proving to me that miracles really exist. Thanks for my grades so far. I love it. :)

Miracles

Around us, life bursts with miracles—a glass of water, a ray of sunshine, a leaf, a caterpillar, a flower, laughter, raindrops. If you live in awareness, it is easy to see miracles everywhere. Each human being is a multiplicity of miracles. Eyes that see thousands of colors, shapes, and forms; ears that hear a bee flying or a thunderclap; a brain that ponders a speck of dust as easily as the entire cosmos; a heart that beats in rhythm with the heartbeat of all beings. When we are tired and feel discouraged by life’s daily struggles, we may not notice these miracles, but they are always there.

-Thich Nhat Hahn

What A Girl Wants:

The Hunger Games Trilogy



I want to read these. A copy of The Hunger Games trilogy can complete my vacation. :) But no, I’m as poor as a rat this summer because there’s no allowance. lol.

(image by -darkpantomime)

April Starts

Ok, I know this post is already too late, but I think I should write about it to honor the awesome events life handed me so far after the second semester. :)

*I apologize for the quality of the camera. I borrowed my cousin's phone since mine doesn't work well. That notebook is my 2011 diary and journal. :)

On picture: Thursday, March 31. Deadline of Econ 131 paper

Thursday, March 31 is the last day of making my last requirement for this semester. I kind of crammed my mini-thesis for Econometrics in this day, racing for my life as the clock wound down to 3 pm. My topic was the link between educational attainment and beer expenditure. The paper was mostly regression and stuffs, and I'm not really sure if I did it right. I just hope that it was ok and presentable and decently written, because I really think that it's not. I hope I'll get a nice mark in it. :)

On picture: April 1. summer officially starts now

It's officially summer to me this day. Plus, it's three days before Hyukjae's birthday. :>

These days, I've made it my daily routine to check CRS for my grades. The first grade that came was French 10, in which I only got 2 (but it's ok, since I didn't really put much effort in it, though). But I can say that it's really my favorite class. It was fun because of our prof, he's relly witty and has a really good sense of humor. :D Plus, he has a really good French accent. :) The next grade that came was in my Psych 101. I surprisingly got 1.5 there, and I don't know why because I didn't really exert much effort in it, and my exam results were really mediocre. I also think that my report there was kinda lousy. haha. :)

On the pictures: Monday. April 4. Saengil chukha hamnida Lee Hyukjae! Saranghaeyo. :) Translation: Happy birthday, Lee Hyukjae! I love you. :)

Ok, my blog, I'll introduce him first. He is Lee Hyukjae, the dance machine of Super Junior, and my future husband. loljk. ;p Monday, April 4 is such a lovely day. :D I was up tweeting (as all ELFs are) by 11 pm on April 3, since the time difference between Seoul and Manila is 1 hour. #asiaanchovyday was a trending topic on Twitter. :) (Fangirling ain't a sin!) :)

Another reason why this day's lovely is because my Intsik 10 grade came. My eyes must be deceiving me because it says that I got a 1 in it. Prof, is u serious? (haha. :) tumblr talk) My standing there is only 1.25 (I figure it must be the assignments and bonuses, idk..haha. --, ) Anyways, thank you very much for this. :) My Span 10 grade came the next days, in which I only got 1.5.


Thank you God for all your wonderful gifts, for my eventful second year second semester, and for the people I met along the way. :)

I thank it, not you

Thank you, music
For being there with me
Through those happy days
Your melody singing in the air
Made my days more beautiful and fair;
Through all those forgettable days
My neutral mood never fails
To be enchanted by your happy tunes;
Through all those sad hours
Where listening to you is the last resort
You created a pretty shoulder
For me to cry the whole afternoon.
Thank you, music
For being there for me
When the whole world didn't
You calmed the beast inside me
I found an endearing friend in you
Thank you for the daily hope
Your wonderful rhythm inspires.
I promise to love you
And listen forever to your sound.

Ok, since the second semester was rather bitchy to me, I wrote a poem one day at the CAL library (in mid-March), while being totally emo. :) I think the poem's rather corny. haha. Anyways, I just love the feeling of writing in solitude, as it helps me drive some sadness away by realizing how awesome a poet I can be. Just kidding, haha. ;p

Note to Self:

Stop becoming a tumblr addict.

Ok, stop with all these reblogging nonesense this summer. I mean, just limit your reblogs for three posts a day, ok? Read more books, read more manga, watch more anime, watch more shows, do something more productive and stop your tumblr addiction. I say, focus more on your private blog. c:

Prayer for Generosity

Dearest Lord, teach me to be generous,
teach me to serve you as I should,
to give and not to count the cost,
to fight and not to heed the wounds,
to toil and not to seek for rest,
to labour and ask not for reward,
save that of knowing that I do your most holy will.

-St. Ignatius of Loyola


This is my favorite mass song when I was still in our Catholic high school back then. I miss singing this especially during class masses and retreats. I love this song's message, and I always ask it to God: to make me more generous and thoughtful of others. But honestly, sometimes I can't do it. I can't be selfless even if I want to. :(

Dearest Lord, teach me to be generous.

I can't...

Even with this blog, I still find it hard to write what I really want to say. :(

Je m'appelle

Bonjour! Je m’appelle Deanne. Je suis philippine. J’étudie l’économie. Mon rêve: c’est de voyager par tout!

My introduction in French class. :D

If you had a day to volunteer, where would you volunteer?

In Africa. I want to see the savannahs. And maybe, life in Africa can inspire me to be contented with what I have and to love my life more. :)

Ask me anything

If you could live in any house you wanted to, what would it look like?

The Burrow, or maybe the Malfoy Manor. :)

Ask me anything

Titanic

“Fifteen hundred people went into the sea when Titanic sank from under us. There were twenty boats floating nearby and only one came back. One. Six were saved from the water, myself included. Six… out of fifteen hundred. Afterward, the seven hundred people in the boats had nothing to do but wait. Wait to die, wait to live, wait for an absolution that would never come.”

One of my favorite movies of all time. :>

Source

what the fuck

Yes, really, what the fuck?

I just arrived from my sister's graduation. Saw bunch of my high school classmates at school today. It was a bit nostalgic; it was my first time setting foot at my Alma Mater ever since our high school graduation.

It was not fun at all. I mean, I confirmed something nasty. :(

See, a few months ago, a friend of mine sent me a message (on Facebook) saying rumors are circulating about me being emo, smoking, drinking, and going to bars.

I didn't believe it at first. I mean, I thought that our classmate who told her about that was just joking her. Plus, I don't really believe something unless I see it with both my two eyes, or hear it directly.

I felt bad after receiving that message (because it's not really true). Since then, I stopped posting statuses (and connecting my tweets) in Facebook (for fear of being judged?). I started a private blog, and frequented on Tumblr and Twitter more. I suddenly had this phobia? or anger? (I don't know) with Facebook. You know the feeling of anger and discomfort everytime you log-in on Facebook? That's what I felt everytime. And it sucks. And the thought of who reached those rumors hunted me sometimes. :(

Anyways, my classmates I met today confirmed that yes, this rumor is really circulating (particularly in UST). I didn't really wanna talk about it, so I told them that it's not true, and I didn't care whatever they say because in the end, it's not really true.

So yeah, the truth, here it is: I am sometimes emo (and I don't deny it). I like wearing black (but not always), and when my high school batchmates meet me at the university, they always see me in it (and so I was branded like that for life. Great.). But I don't smoke--I don't really; I haven't tried it ever, and I don't want to. To tell you the truth, whenever my dad is at home and when he's smoking, I always ask him to stop because I can't breathe with the fumes. The same goes when we have visitors in the house who smokes. I always imply to them that I can't breathe well (yeah, I know I'm rude). I also don't drink beer, or wine, or ANY alcohol beverage (for heaven's sake) ever since birth. And I don't go to bars (I haven't really been to one, either). Let's just say that my idea of FUN FUN FUN is spending the night with my laptop named Anchovy (yes, my laptop's got a name, and it's taken from one of the nicknames of Hyukjae, my ultimate K-Pop bias), watching Asian dramas and anime, or reading mangas or e-books.

Eff. Really.

P.S. I know that it started as a joke between them, but for heaven's sake I don't think they'll never understand how the fuck it affected me (especially at this crucial time of my life). :(

The Most Important Things

“The most important things are the hardest things to say. They are the things you get ashamed of, because words diminish them - words shrink things that seemed limitless when they were in your head to no more than living size when they’re brought out. But it’s more than that, isn’t it? The most important things lie too close to wherever your secret heart is buried, like landmarks to a treasure your enemies would love to steal away. And you may make revelations that cost you dearly only to have people look at you in a funny way, not understanding what you’ve said at all, or why you thought it was so important that you almost cried while you were saying it. That’s the worst, I think. When the secret stays locked within not for want of a teller, but for want of an understanding ear.”

- Stephen King

According to our class discussion in Psych 101, people who live far away from their family and who has very few friends find it harder to cope to stress. shoot.

Note to Self:

Stop crying.

Sometimes, you have to accept the fact that stupid evil egotistical people exists. It's not always your fault why your life's so messed up. Stop blaming yourself. You've done your part (you've studied enough for that subject), so just hope for the best. Leave it all to Him.

Anagrams!

I just finished reading The Da Vinci Code last night. (Yeah, this really old novel.) I hesitated to read it when I was in high school back then, because I don't want to have this "different" view of my religion. I got bored this week (even if tons of schoolwork are on my list), so I went to Book Sale to buy a book to read, et voila, I found it sitting right there on the book shelf. I figured a little reading won't hurt, so I bought it. And it didn't fail me. The Da Vinci Code is intelligently written and all, and it kept me hanging and reading 'til 2am in the morning.

Because of this novel, my love for anagrams was re-ignited. (Yess!) I have been a fan of anagrams since The Series of Unfortunate Events novels. I just found this cool anagram generator on the internet. Check it out.

Anyways, I found out that my name can be rearranged to form Irene Adler.

For the record, Irene Adler is the only woman to outwit Sherlock Holmes. I have been a fan of them (and I ship them, haha)! (How nerd of me.) :p I love A Scandal in Bohemia, it's my favorite Sherlock Holmes story so far. I think Sherlock Holmes and Irene Adler have a really cool chemistry.

(Maybe I'm the reincarnated Irene Adler?) loljk. ;p

ICLiP

Our last CWTS meeting ended today with an educational trip to Museo Pambata for the kids.

I don't really want to attend this culminating activity (it's on a Saturday) because I want to go home this weekend. Anyhow, I still went for the sake of finishing this subject. It has been tiring (yet fulfilling) teaching four kids (C.J., Angela, Marick-ar, and Shiela) during this second semester, and right now, I'm feeling really happy because it's finally ended. (No more going to Katipunan every tiring Tuesday and Thursday afternoons to teach!)

I will miss the kids I've taught; they have been very nice to me throughout the semester. I definitely won't forget them because they're my first students; they're someone who actually listened to what I've gotta say and believe every little bit of it. I seldom receive compliments in my life, and they're one of the few who actually said some to me. (Omo, why does this post suddenly sounded dramatic?) :)


Anyways, this educational trip to Museo Pambata wasn't really fun. It turned out that most of the kids already visited this place before. I feel like I'm Sunny (from SNSD) in the SEOUL music video while walking hand-by-hands with Angela and Erika (the kids assigned to me). (LOL, random thought.) This trip is very tiring because of the heat of the sun (we ate lunch at a park? near Quirino Grandstand). Glad I bought The Da Vinci Code to pass the time while the kids were playing. On our way back to the center, we (luckily) witnessed a shooting on the road. Because of the traffic, the jeep we were riding on was positioned perfectly near the set, and we caught a glimpse of Sarah Geronimo and Gerald Anderson (about to kiss, haha). We also saw Joey Marquez and a familiar fat actress whose name I don't know. :) Jeepney rides are so uncomfortable; the heat of the sun in the afternoon is unbearable, and so is the smoke from the vehicles on the road. After this day, I went back to the dorm exhausted and tired. (No more CWTS! No more CWTS!) :)

I can feel summer coming faster now. :)

Why all emo?

Just had one of the worst (read: ironic) days of my life. I just really want to cry today (the feeling of holding it all in pains me), but no one will probably notice and care. Glad I have this secret blog with me. Thank you, Lord for making me chance upon this picture today. Thanks for showing me how lucky I am. I love my life because it is beautiful, despite all these stuffs happening to me right now.

Date A Girl Who Reads

"Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes. She has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.

Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag.She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she finds the book she wants. You see the weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a second hand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow.

She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.

Buy her another cup of coffee.

Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.

It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas and for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry, in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.

She has to give it a shot somehow.

Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.

Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who understand that all things will come to end. That you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.

Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilight series.

If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.

You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.

You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.

Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.

Or better yet, date a girl who writes."

— Rosemary Urquico

Source

Tangled

I was hesitant watching this Disney movie at first, but I've been hearing good reviews about it being funny and unique. Nonetheless, I still watched it last Monday afternoon after downloading a copy at torrent (I'm such a pirate, LOL.) to kill the boredom. I figured I needed a break from my Econometrics paper killing me since the weekends. :)

I was expecting the usual Rapunzel story, and I was surprised in the plot's twists. It is very unique, and I liked the concept of the "healing hair" because it seemed like a sane reason to keep her hair being uncut forever. Plus, Rapunzel and Flynn has this really cute chemistry between them. :D I liked the ending, as usual in fairy tales, they lived happily ever after; she is still beautiful even with short brown hair. I liked the Barbie adaptation more, but I can say Tangled is beautiful in its own way: it's one of those few hilarious fairy tale movies ever been made. :)

Pray for Japan

Students hold candles as they pray for Japan’s earthquake victims inside their school in the western Indian city of Ahmedabad March 11.

(Source)

Inspiration in March

The best way to make it through with hearts and wrists intact is to realize that two out of three ain't bad.

-Pete Wentz

Must get this quote in my head all March. So many school requirements to accomplish, and it's driving me crazy. :)

Tu es belle

You are beautiful

Everything about you is cool.

To light up a girl's day

These words you should say.

Be an artist and paint

A beautiful smile on her face.

This simple phrase

Can warm up her wounded heart,

Can rotate her frown

Three-hundred sixty degrees.

Go ahead and tell her

You won't regret later.

My first try at a poem. I know it's lame. :)

On Emotions

Elephants have been known to die of broken hearts if a mate dies. They refuse to eat and will lay down, shedding tears until they starve to death. They refuse all human help.

Scientists are beginning to believe that animals do have emotions and that their feelings may be more intense and unfiltered than our own. Emotion rises from the old brain, the limbic system, which birds and reptiles as well as dogs, humans, and other mammals share. Humans have additional brain structures and symbolic language to process our feelings and a complex array of psychological defense mechanisms that allay or soften the impact of our emotions. We repress, deny, subjugate, dissociate, and use all kinds of conscious and unconscious machinations to separate ourselves from our feelings, but animals have no such recourse, so their emotions are likely to be raw and strong. In fact, this may be one of the reasons we find them so attractive: they wear their hearts on their sleeves, so to speak. People seem to deny the existence of animal emotions so that they can continue to justify inhumane treatment and exploitation and avoid the fact that our actions have a deep emotional impact on our fellow beings.

Source: http://cakenap.tumblr.com/post/2912153478/elephants-have-been-known-to-die-of-broken-hearts

♥ In the midst of war, our human nature to love, even the descendants of our enemies, still prevails in one way or another.

Source: http://littlebitsoficexo.tumblr.com/post/2164630084

Thirteen Reasons Why

Just finished reading the book Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher.

It’s a young-adult novel whose main theme is suicide. I enjoyed reading the first parts of the book (Not really enjoyed, but more like sympathized with the characters, especially Hannah), but as the end of the story draws nearer, I kind of felt that it got uglier. I mean, why blame your fucked up life on others? Sure, they were mean and they deserved every bit of guilt for your committing suicide, but I think you are also personally responsible for your life. I understand what Hannah has gone through, but I think that she should’ve tried to be more stronger and look for more ways to find hope in life instead of killing herself (or using lame excuses of killing herself, and then blaming others on it).

Main point of the story is that every action of yours (how little you may think it is), can greatly affect a person’s life and his faith in people.

P.S. I am thankful high school life here in the Philippines is so much different than in U.S. :)

Hold Me :)

Holding hands may seem like an innocent gesture, but they show more than a simple interlocking of fingers. Your hands are one of the most essential parts of your body: you build with them, feed with them, hold with them, touch with them, fight with them; they are the tools of the human body. To take a hold of another’s hand is to break from living individually. It is to link yourself to another being, to momentarily entwine your life with another’s, to promise, for a moment, that you need not face the world alone. More simple, more aesthetically naive than other forms of affection, i.e kissing, hugging, sexing.., the act of holding hands is often trivialized in its true implications. As the Beatles once said” all I want to do is hold your hand .”

Source: http://ellie-bartowski.tumblr.com/post/3552083105

A Valentine Post

An economist's My point of view of the inefficiencies of having a boyfriend.

The Opportunity Cost of Not Being Single:

1. Limited time for yourself. There is the tradeoff of some of your time for yourself & family vs. that of your loved one.
   
2. Must always look good. You can never meet him looking like a mess.
3. Limited social life. Time spent with him eats up the time you should've spent with your friends having fun, or meeting/befriending someone.
   
4. Limited study time. Even if you only meet five hours a week, that is still some hours spent not studying, and that can have an impact on your grades. haha. :D
5. And many other reasons I don't feel like writing. :)

Be single forever like me. LOL, just kidding. :p
Happy Valentines! <3

Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars?

I could really use a wish right now.

A hundred wishes right now, actually.

So, that'd be like 100 airplanes in the night sky. It's like WWII.

doushite?

Why is life so ironic? Maybe because it's just unfair to me.

Why do I need to study all these stuffs when I won't be needing them when I work? Maybe I just need to allocate my time doing productive things instead of idling it away.

Why do I feel empty every time? Maybe I'm just an incurable wallflower.

Why am I so mediocre? Maybe I just don't want to exert effort on not-so-important things.

Why can't I change? Maybe this is the best I can get.

Why am I so cynical? Maybe it's in the things I read.

Why am I still alive? Maybe someone still needs me.

nonesense

It's Feb. 12, 9:40 a.m. I am alone in my aunt's room, figuring out what to do with my extra time without my siblings and cousins in the house (it's their Family Day at school today). I still have lots of schoolwork to do, but my usual lazy self says that it's Saturday today and that I still have lots more of time tomorrow.

I ended up starting a blog. Well, technically not starting, because I have a tumblr account. Although I love reblogging stuffs there, I figured out that I want to make a private blog. You know, the type that no one will ever read. The secret diary type, wherein I can write about my everyday feelings openly. I just suddenly realized that I've been feeling empty these past two years in my college life. I've never felt so lonely and empty before. I mean, I want a best friend in the form of a blog, because I miss my friends in high school. So yeah, I guess I'll just be faithful in updating this blog.

So Blogger.com, Yoroshiku onegaishimasu.