Prayer for Generosity

Dearest Lord, teach me to be generous,
teach me to serve you as I should,
to give and not to count the cost,
to fight and not to heed the wounds,
to toil and not to seek for rest,
to labour and ask not for reward,
save that of knowing that I do your most holy will.

-St. Ignatius of Loyola


This is my favorite mass song when I was still in our Catholic high school back then. I miss singing this especially during class masses and retreats. I love this song's message, and I always ask it to God: to make me more generous and thoughtful of others. But honestly, sometimes I can't do it. I can't be selfless even if I want to. :(

Dearest Lord, teach me to be generous.

I can't...

Even with this blog, I still find it hard to write what I really want to say. :(

Je m'appelle

Bonjour! Je m’appelle Deanne. Je suis philippine. J’étudie l’économie. Mon rêve: c’est de voyager par tout!

My introduction in French class. :D

If you had a day to volunteer, where would you volunteer?

In Africa. I want to see the savannahs. And maybe, life in Africa can inspire me to be contented with what I have and to love my life more. :)

Ask me anything

If you could live in any house you wanted to, what would it look like?

The Burrow, or maybe the Malfoy Manor. :)

Ask me anything

Titanic

“Fifteen hundred people went into the sea when Titanic sank from under us. There were twenty boats floating nearby and only one came back. One. Six were saved from the water, myself included. Six… out of fifteen hundred. Afterward, the seven hundred people in the boats had nothing to do but wait. Wait to die, wait to live, wait for an absolution that would never come.”

One of my favorite movies of all time. :>

Source

what the fuck

Yes, really, what the fuck?

I just arrived from my sister's graduation. Saw bunch of my high school classmates at school today. It was a bit nostalgic; it was my first time setting foot at my Alma Mater ever since our high school graduation.

It was not fun at all. I mean, I confirmed something nasty. :(

See, a few months ago, a friend of mine sent me a message (on Facebook) saying rumors are circulating about me being emo, smoking, drinking, and going to bars.

I didn't believe it at first. I mean, I thought that our classmate who told her about that was just joking her. Plus, I don't really believe something unless I see it with both my two eyes, or hear it directly.

I felt bad after receiving that message (because it's not really true). Since then, I stopped posting statuses (and connecting my tweets) in Facebook (for fear of being judged?). I started a private blog, and frequented on Tumblr and Twitter more. I suddenly had this phobia? or anger? (I don't know) with Facebook. You know the feeling of anger and discomfort everytime you log-in on Facebook? That's what I felt everytime. And it sucks. And the thought of who reached those rumors hunted me sometimes. :(

Anyways, my classmates I met today confirmed that yes, this rumor is really circulating (particularly in UST). I didn't really wanna talk about it, so I told them that it's not true, and I didn't care whatever they say because in the end, it's not really true.

So yeah, the truth, here it is: I am sometimes emo (and I don't deny it). I like wearing black (but not always), and when my high school batchmates meet me at the university, they always see me in it (and so I was branded like that for life. Great.). But I don't smoke--I don't really; I haven't tried it ever, and I don't want to. To tell you the truth, whenever my dad is at home and when he's smoking, I always ask him to stop because I can't breathe with the fumes. The same goes when we have visitors in the house who smokes. I always imply to them that I can't breathe well (yeah, I know I'm rude). I also don't drink beer, or wine, or ANY alcohol beverage (for heaven's sake) ever since birth. And I don't go to bars (I haven't really been to one, either). Let's just say that my idea of FUN FUN FUN is spending the night with my laptop named Anchovy (yes, my laptop's got a name, and it's taken from one of the nicknames of Hyukjae, my ultimate K-Pop bias), watching Asian dramas and anime, or reading mangas or e-books.

Eff. Really.

P.S. I know that it started as a joke between them, but for heaven's sake I don't think they'll never understand how the fuck it affected me (especially at this crucial time of my life). :(

The Most Important Things

“The most important things are the hardest things to say. They are the things you get ashamed of, because words diminish them - words shrink things that seemed limitless when they were in your head to no more than living size when they’re brought out. But it’s more than that, isn’t it? The most important things lie too close to wherever your secret heart is buried, like landmarks to a treasure your enemies would love to steal away. And you may make revelations that cost you dearly only to have people look at you in a funny way, not understanding what you’ve said at all, or why you thought it was so important that you almost cried while you were saying it. That’s the worst, I think. When the secret stays locked within not for want of a teller, but for want of an understanding ear.”

- Stephen King

According to our class discussion in Psych 101, people who live far away from their family and who has very few friends find it harder to cope to stress. shoot.

Note to Self:

Stop crying.

Sometimes, you have to accept the fact that stupid evil egotistical people exists. It's not always your fault why your life's so messed up. Stop blaming yourself. You've done your part (you've studied enough for that subject), so just hope for the best. Leave it all to Him.

Anagrams!

I just finished reading The Da Vinci Code last night. (Yeah, this really old novel.) I hesitated to read it when I was in high school back then, because I don't want to have this "different" view of my religion. I got bored this week (even if tons of schoolwork are on my list), so I went to Book Sale to buy a book to read, et voila, I found it sitting right there on the book shelf. I figured a little reading won't hurt, so I bought it. And it didn't fail me. The Da Vinci Code is intelligently written and all, and it kept me hanging and reading 'til 2am in the morning.

Because of this novel, my love for anagrams was re-ignited. (Yess!) I have been a fan of anagrams since The Series of Unfortunate Events novels. I just found this cool anagram generator on the internet. Check it out.

Anyways, I found out that my name can be rearranged to form Irene Adler.

For the record, Irene Adler is the only woman to outwit Sherlock Holmes. I have been a fan of them (and I ship them, haha)! (How nerd of me.) :p I love A Scandal in Bohemia, it's my favorite Sherlock Holmes story so far. I think Sherlock Holmes and Irene Adler have a really cool chemistry.

(Maybe I'm the reincarnated Irene Adler?) loljk. ;p

ICLiP

Our last CWTS meeting ended today with an educational trip to Museo Pambata for the kids.

I don't really want to attend this culminating activity (it's on a Saturday) because I want to go home this weekend. Anyhow, I still went for the sake of finishing this subject. It has been tiring (yet fulfilling) teaching four kids (C.J., Angela, Marick-ar, and Shiela) during this second semester, and right now, I'm feeling really happy because it's finally ended. (No more going to Katipunan every tiring Tuesday and Thursday afternoons to teach!)

I will miss the kids I've taught; they have been very nice to me throughout the semester. I definitely won't forget them because they're my first students; they're someone who actually listened to what I've gotta say and believe every little bit of it. I seldom receive compliments in my life, and they're one of the few who actually said some to me. (Omo, why does this post suddenly sounded dramatic?) :)


Anyways, this educational trip to Museo Pambata wasn't really fun. It turned out that most of the kids already visited this place before. I feel like I'm Sunny (from SNSD) in the SEOUL music video while walking hand-by-hands with Angela and Erika (the kids assigned to me). (LOL, random thought.) This trip is very tiring because of the heat of the sun (we ate lunch at a park? near Quirino Grandstand). Glad I bought The Da Vinci Code to pass the time while the kids were playing. On our way back to the center, we (luckily) witnessed a shooting on the road. Because of the traffic, the jeep we were riding on was positioned perfectly near the set, and we caught a glimpse of Sarah Geronimo and Gerald Anderson (about to kiss, haha). We also saw Joey Marquez and a familiar fat actress whose name I don't know. :) Jeepney rides are so uncomfortable; the heat of the sun in the afternoon is unbearable, and so is the smoke from the vehicles on the road. After this day, I went back to the dorm exhausted and tired. (No more CWTS! No more CWTS!) :)

I can feel summer coming faster now. :)

Why all emo?

Just had one of the worst (read: ironic) days of my life. I just really want to cry today (the feeling of holding it all in pains me), but no one will probably notice and care. Glad I have this secret blog with me. Thank you, Lord for making me chance upon this picture today. Thanks for showing me how lucky I am. I love my life because it is beautiful, despite all these stuffs happening to me right now.

Date A Girl Who Reads

"Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes. She has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.

Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag.She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she finds the book she wants. You see the weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a second hand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow.

She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.

Buy her another cup of coffee.

Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.

It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas and for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry, in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.

She has to give it a shot somehow.

Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.

Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who understand that all things will come to end. That you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.

Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilight series.

If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.

You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.

You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.

Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.

Or better yet, date a girl who writes."

— Rosemary Urquico

Source

Tangled

I was hesitant watching this Disney movie at first, but I've been hearing good reviews about it being funny and unique. Nonetheless, I still watched it last Monday afternoon after downloading a copy at torrent (I'm such a pirate, LOL.) to kill the boredom. I figured I needed a break from my Econometrics paper killing me since the weekends. :)

I was expecting the usual Rapunzel story, and I was surprised in the plot's twists. It is very unique, and I liked the concept of the "healing hair" because it seemed like a sane reason to keep her hair being uncut forever. Plus, Rapunzel and Flynn has this really cute chemistry between them. :D I liked the ending, as usual in fairy tales, they lived happily ever after; she is still beautiful even with short brown hair. I liked the Barbie adaptation more, but I can say Tangled is beautiful in its own way: it's one of those few hilarious fairy tale movies ever been made. :)

Pray for Japan

Students hold candles as they pray for Japan’s earthquake victims inside their school in the western Indian city of Ahmedabad March 11.

(Source)

Inspiration in March

The best way to make it through with hearts and wrists intact is to realize that two out of three ain't bad.

-Pete Wentz

Must get this quote in my head all March. So many school requirements to accomplish, and it's driving me crazy. :)

Tu es belle

You are beautiful

Everything about you is cool.

To light up a girl's day

These words you should say.

Be an artist and paint

A beautiful smile on her face.

This simple phrase

Can warm up her wounded heart,

Can rotate her frown

Three-hundred sixty degrees.

Go ahead and tell her

You won't regret later.

My first try at a poem. I know it's lame. :)

On Emotions

Elephants have been known to die of broken hearts if a mate dies. They refuse to eat and will lay down, shedding tears until they starve to death. They refuse all human help.

Scientists are beginning to believe that animals do have emotions and that their feelings may be more intense and unfiltered than our own. Emotion rises from the old brain, the limbic system, which birds and reptiles as well as dogs, humans, and other mammals share. Humans have additional brain structures and symbolic language to process our feelings and a complex array of psychological defense mechanisms that allay or soften the impact of our emotions. We repress, deny, subjugate, dissociate, and use all kinds of conscious and unconscious machinations to separate ourselves from our feelings, but animals have no such recourse, so their emotions are likely to be raw and strong. In fact, this may be one of the reasons we find them so attractive: they wear their hearts on their sleeves, so to speak. People seem to deny the existence of animal emotions so that they can continue to justify inhumane treatment and exploitation and avoid the fact that our actions have a deep emotional impact on our fellow beings.

Source: http://cakenap.tumblr.com/post/2912153478/elephants-have-been-known-to-die-of-broken-hearts

♥ In the midst of war, our human nature to love, even the descendants of our enemies, still prevails in one way or another.

Source: http://littlebitsoficexo.tumblr.com/post/2164630084

Thirteen Reasons Why

Just finished reading the book Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher.

It’s a young-adult novel whose main theme is suicide. I enjoyed reading the first parts of the book (Not really enjoyed, but more like sympathized with the characters, especially Hannah), but as the end of the story draws nearer, I kind of felt that it got uglier. I mean, why blame your fucked up life on others? Sure, they were mean and they deserved every bit of guilt for your committing suicide, but I think you are also personally responsible for your life. I understand what Hannah has gone through, but I think that she should’ve tried to be more stronger and look for more ways to find hope in life instead of killing herself (or using lame excuses of killing herself, and then blaming others on it).

Main point of the story is that every action of yours (how little you may think it is), can greatly affect a person’s life and his faith in people.

P.S. I am thankful high school life here in the Philippines is so much different than in U.S. :)

Hold Me :)

Holding hands may seem like an innocent gesture, but they show more than a simple interlocking of fingers. Your hands are one of the most essential parts of your body: you build with them, feed with them, hold with them, touch with them, fight with them; they are the tools of the human body. To take a hold of another’s hand is to break from living individually. It is to link yourself to another being, to momentarily entwine your life with another’s, to promise, for a moment, that you need not face the world alone. More simple, more aesthetically naive than other forms of affection, i.e kissing, hugging, sexing.., the act of holding hands is often trivialized in its true implications. As the Beatles once said” all I want to do is hold your hand .”

Source: http://ellie-bartowski.tumblr.com/post/3552083105